DAILY Preparing for holidays instigates the great search for perfect gifts, those impeccable, je ne sais quoi boxes of taste and refined thoughtfulness, along with ‘I should have done this in July despair.’ How to express love, gratitude, and appreciation in its most appropriate form without crass consumption? This takes more thought, savvy and creativity than your PHD dissertation.
When I find a question difficult, more and more I’ve been asking myself what I would wish. When I think back on receiving a memorable present~ first, I’m simply glad they thought of me. But the ‘memorable’ gifts reflect the giver, as well as ways they value me. Great happiness comes with being seen for who I am. Exceptional gifts offer blessings. When I hear, “brava brava” as I rip open wrappings, it tells me they have understood my struggle. Their thoughtfulness makes me more courageous, empathetic, or willing. My gratitude expands with being seen.
I once looked up the origin of ‘friend.’ It referred to being ‘free.’ Early homes held those one loved, and – or slaves. Therefore ‘free’ came to mean not enslaved, therefore loved. It‘s OE origin, ‘Freon’-was ‘those one loved.’ This became ‘friend.’ An interesting twist if you consider that when we feel free to be ourselves, we are most able to love and be loved. We make fewer demands on others when we can reveal all our warts and scars. We don’t enslave others to make us happy, and they in turn are free to give us great gifts.
What I cherish about my friends is they are multi-hued; holding diverse and fascinating shards~ prisms, reflecting me back to me through them. It is difficult to find a gift for someone I admire, someone I entrust with my dreams, someone who lets me stand on their shoulders. They should not get a gift certificate, no matter how extravagant the price tag. When a friend trusts me with their sorrow, and then takes my hand through dark days, redemption is our gift. How do I wrap it? The perfect present is a mirror so they see themselves as I see them; brave, beautiful, light-filled, funny, marvelously quirky, irreverent, creative, wise, empathetic, heart-scarred and resilient.
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