The Fat Samoan

The fact that this is a true story is un-important. The fact that I not only remember it many years later, and it continues to re-affirm and re-create an inner compassionate space, is its vitality.

Once upon a time, twenty years ago, my newly wed husband and I flew off to Hawaii to escape over-amped L.A. lives. We decided going native a more enticing idea than staying in a chi-chi hotel. This reasoning found us on a steep hillside looking for hidden bungalows, not only remote, but bathroom-less.

Unbeknownst to us, we had not left our ‘big-city-selves’ behind yet. We were irritated, even uppity of spirit, which we expressed as we tried to find the office and someone to speak to. We called out, we knocked, we stood crankier by the L.A. minute. Finally a very large Samoan man, rose from his hidden bed, and slowly padded our way.

I thought, ‘Oh great—slow, sleepy and dumb. What were we thinking to come here?’

He stood passively, silent, waiting.

Allan asked, “Do you have a night’s rental?’

“Yes.”

“Can we see it?”

“Yes.”

Beat… beat…. beat…

“Is it far?’

“You should drive.” We took that to mean, ‘you out of shape, Haoles.’

Is there a key?”

“No.”

Keyless and clueless, we get in the car, in a dialogue as funky as the dirt path. “Can you believe that guy?” “What a slob.” “And my, God, so slow.” “Maybe his brains were in his feet?” Hopeless!”

With that attitude, you don’t think we were going to see the hidden, romantic hideaway we had envisioned? What we find is a childhood version of a tree house on stilts, with light shining through the walls. Because we remain on a hard-drive L.A. chich, we decide it is not for us.

We return to the office to tell him, and there waiting for me is a stem of Plumeria.

“Because you like good smells,” he says, pushing it toward me. (I had not told him I loved scented flowers.)

To say we stood dusted and busted doesn’t begin to describe the moment.

We spent a never to be forgotten twenty minutes in lovely conversation with a witty, sensitive, intelligent, beautiful man.

‘The Fat Samoan’ remains between us as a catchword of our blindness when we judge. We have returned time and again to nudge, and whisper, ‘the fat Samoan,’ when we find ourselves in situations, or with people, we have wittingly, or un-wittingly, deemed less-than, people who are not at all who they appear to be, and who, all too often contain wonderful presents/presence.

Perhaps we all simply long to be gifts for one another? Like the scent of Frangipani, we waft up a nose, and across a heart breaking down unknown barriers. We are a world of ‘fat Samoans’ offering the sweet perfume of new realizations.

Asana/Pose: What is pose you would take if you were the ‘fat Samoan?’ Perhaps standing tall, in elegant stillness; Tadasana/Mountain Pose. And if you were offering someone a prayer, or a spray of Plumeria, you might come into Namaskar/Prayer Pose, with you hands.

Health Notes: Many things and nothing can happen to us in the simplicity of Tadasana: We can connect deeply into the earth by sending down imaginary roots through our feet. We can simply breathe and ‘BE.’ We can stand, imagining our power to move in many directions. We can feel ourselves growing tall and strong with intention. There is a secret world behind the simplicity of standing still.

Ayurvedic Notes: When spring remains cold and wet, Kapha bodies are more off balance. Kaphas tend to carry more weight than the other doshas, and require more attention to what really nurtures vs. what they crave, which is often sugar and white flour. Standing still to take a prayer before tucking into a meal is never a bad idea. Any moments connecting to divinity clarify intent.

Astrology Notes: We leave Aires to move into Taurus territory on April 20. Taurus, like Kapha, is earthy, and often carries extra weight, due to their love of sweets. Venus ruled Taureans love to stand or lie in stillness, preferably on a big pillow.They love to dig in the earth, and smell its sweet smells. They generously give and receive gifts, often with lovely scents. I suspect many a ‘fat Samoan’ to be Taurus-based.