It’s been said that ‘turning over a new leaf,’ ‘turning a page,’ ‘turning toward the future,’ are good and true actions come January 1. Frankly, I’m for turning over and pulling up the covers this year. I’m for ripping out the page and burning it. Turning toward the future only reveals the fridge, where I’ve stuck my head in a jar of fudge. I’ve lived long enough to know that this too shall pass. But hell, the pabulum of dreams unmet, and desires railroaded, is like eating an inch of cold grease off an old griddle. No?
The grease and un-answered dreams clog all manner of drains even when we wishing to pull forward and turn a new leaf, or a page. It takes an enormous turning of the will to not be destructive about being destroyed. Yes, shredding is part of the process. It’s called, ‘transformation.’ Hee hee hee. Transformation is nothing but ‘destruction’ blithely written, or said by your Astrologer seeing Pluto approach.
No matter what we call it, transformation is the only game in town these days. But please don’t ask me to do that. Don’t ask me to give up the ego’s wishes. I don’t want to change what I’ve constructed. I don’t want to surrender when I’ve worked so hard to hang on…. Oh Waugh waingh wallyeee.
Apparently, wynching is good for the soul. I feel much better now that I’ve spread my cold grease around. Lucky you! There’s something about writing the angst in black and white that often reveals its pettiness and absurdities. This creates enough light to re-boot. There is just enough laughter to take a small step toward the year’s unknown demands. Thank you for listening.
Your turn. Are you ready to begin the New Year? Or are you kicking and squealing? “I’m listening,” as crazy Fraser used to say.
Pose With Seasonal Notes
Asana: Parighasana/Gate Pose. Kneel, stretching R leg out to side, place R foot in line with L knee, turn the R foot sideways, leg straight. Inhale, opening arms out to the side, exhale as you move R arm down toward R leg. You can rest the hand on the shin, R ear rests on R shoulder, and L arm stretches overhead to rest on R hand. Stay here and do a cycle of 5-10 breaths. Repeat on other side. You can also do this Pose by extending R arm straight down toward floor and extending L arm up, so the arms form a single bar or beam of energy.
As you do this pose think about what new gate/doorway you wish to open and walk through. Take time to breathe into a new direction. What preparation needs to happen for you open and walk through?
(Here’s a scary PS to the unconscious DNA propelling us/me. Almost to the day, one year ago, I chose this same pose to enter 2010, the gate image et all. It works. But how frightening to have so little imagination that I think it’s a good idea a second time. No wonder I’m feeling stuck. No, wait. I’ll turn that around and see it as ritual, not boring repetition. It’s now the ritual of a lemming, bound for the sea cliff. Ha!
Health Notes: Physically, Parighasana helps stiff backs and ribs, stretching laterally, lengthening abdominals, stimulating lungs and organs. If hamstrings are tight, it will lengthen those. Psychologically, it’s an expansive pose, for it is simple enough to allow ideas to percolate through the breath, leading body, mind & spirit toward undiscovered gateways, perhaps balancing enthusiasm with practicality, dreams with reality, and hopefulness with structure.
Astrology Notes: Saturn constructs, therefore has great difficulty transforming, disappearing, letting go. Capricorn’s ruler, Saturn builds with care and patience, withstanding winds of change, and this brings Capricorn energy into conflict with a world demanding transformation. Only the desire to reach the top sees Capricorn through turbulent times, for it understands the “change and grow” mantra, despite finding it difficult. We all learn endlessly at Saturn’s feet.
Ayurvedic Notes: We know that to change harmful mental conditions we must cultivate the opposite. Ayurvedically, consciousness is grown in the petri dish of the food, impressions and associations around us, as well as our behavior. These daily imprints dye the consciousness until we think we are that color. Being able to begin choosing the opposite of what we struggle with offers a battle plan. When low and depressed, eat vitalizing foods, sit with the exuberance in nature, be with the sun. Be with those who are sunny, and spiritual. Stay away from stimulants such as coffee, sugar, alcohol, anti-depressants, they only mask. Our true nature is inherently divine, our moods superimpose weird dye colors. The job is to return to our original state, who we already are.
“Don’t ask me to give up the ego’s wishes. I don’t want to change what I’ve constructed. I don’t want to surrender when I’ve worked so hard to hang on.”
That sounds so exhausting. Aren’t you tired?!
ps – anti-depressants aren’t stimulants. they may mask, but sometimes they save lives. be careful.