Soul Food

Our best friends remind us of the right stuff. They feed us soul food. They hold our hand when we cross risky roads. They’ve got our back. Crossing between an old life/old friends and new life/new found amis, I am constantly reminded how lucky we are in our vast array of friendships, how profoundly important they are to us, and how wonderfully weird and iconoclastic they grow. One of the old friends fed me a particularly stunning bite of soul food recently.

She is a beautiful woman. She is smart, generous, talented. That said, she struggles with the nature of intimate, committed relationships, as do most. In some lives it is costlier. She recently broke up with a man she had deeply loved and been with for several years. She had every reason to be broken, resentful, thrashed. Instead, she’s arrived at a farther shore.

“You know,” she said, “I could be sad and of course depressed, or angry. I go through all that, and more. But these days I’m listening to another voice. I believe it is my soul, which says, ‘I’m really grateful we loved each other. His personality and ego couldn’t love me in the way I needed, but his soul loved me enough to suffer through all we created together, and the tortured breakup. We did torture each other in our happiness, and our pain. I’ve concluded that it takes a really soulful, loving Self to agree to take on those depths with someone else, doing it for their own growth, and the other’s. Today, I’m working on letting everything else go but that. Of course I struggle with regrets on having ‘made a mistake’ once again. Yes, I lay in sleepless depression some nights. But my soul voice is growing stronger as I Practice listening to it, not the chich of my diminished ego. It’s a good Practice.”

She smiled then and I knew all of it was true. I stood shocked-still to think of being able to create a Practice of that depth. It will fly her to the moon, if she wishes. It will bring her a partner who recognizes her soul-filled-Self.
What a gifting for us all. We so need teachers sprouting from burned fields, for they are the scarred ones who have chosen to grow from devastation. Does her decision not offer redemption to the rest of us? Can I not choose soulful whispers instead of regret and anger?

I love my friends. I love them for the gifts they bring me. I love them for what they choose for themselves. She is holding my hand, taking me across the next rambunctious road.

Asana: Upavista Konasana/Seated Wide Angle Pose. Sit with the legs as wide open as possible. If this is difficult, sit on a pillow, which will release hip & hamstring tension. Grab the big toes with thumb, index, & middle fingers, inhale deeply, extending the spine. On exhale, reach torso out, extending toward floor, with practice, bring chin onto floor, Remain here, think of your friends, feel open & expansive.
you can do this with a friend in a partner stretch. Face each other, in Upavista Konasana, the active partner places feet against inner ankles of passive partner, grab each other’s wrists. The active partner slowly and gently pulls back, extending partner’s forward stretch. Go slow, breath together, trust, ask when it’s enough. Return to neutral ground slowly, and change out passive to active.

Health Notes: This Pose stretches hamstrings, and spine, especially with a partner. As it circulates more blood through pelvic area it helps relieve sciatica, and menstrual flow, stimulating the ovaries. Stretching with another instills trust, makes friends of strangers,

Astrology Notes: Inspirational fire is the motivating force for Aires energy. It is the beginning of the Astrological zodiac, it rules the head in the physical body, and loves to be ahead of everyone, or the head of anything. They are of course, headstrong. Their glyph represents the rams head, or a head with two eyebrows with the line of the nose. Because of their drive, Aires can be prone to headaches, head injuries, nose and eye issues. Many Aires carry strong Pitta energies.

Ayurvedic Notes: Each of the three doshas benefit from particular areas and types of stretching. For pitta prakruti, poses stretching the solar plexus are particularly beneficial. These include Bow, Fish, Camel, and Locust. Do not spend a great deal of time in inverted poses such as Plow, Shoulder Stand, Head Stand, or Pincha Mayurasana.